I started this blog primarily to vent out my frustrations and heartaches when I found myself on the “single-mom” status. At first, I was just an “unmarried mom”, planning to be wed after three years (that’s supposed to be this year already). But the plan didn’t push through, instead, the entire relationship was, well, “terminated”. Since then, I blogged about my thoughts, hoping to feel better when I get home, since I don’t really want to talk about it with my Mama (I don’t wanna burden her further with my emotional problems).
Anyway, from there, I blogged about my life, my experiences, my thoughts. And now when I check my past entries, I realized that my becoming a mother didn’t change the fact that I am still (relatively) young, and I haven’t “exhausted” my youth. (to those older than me, don’t get me wrong. Alam ko namang kalabaw lang ang tumatanda, hehehe) I’m thinking, maybe the reason I am not able to “blend in” with other moms is because I am not ready to “be there” yet. That I still need to be with my peers, who are mostly still single, and that I don’t have to conform to what society views as “a real mom”, whatever that is.
I have to free myself from the guilt of “not being a good-enough-mom” whenever I go to events with friends, or when I pursue hobbies, or when I do extra work.
Being a solo parent isn’t just about being both father and mother – provider and nurturer. It’s also about being yourself and not being restricted by your situation. It’s about moving forward, living life and not dying with the “death” of a relationship.
If I were to start blogging about a particular topic, a certain niche, I would blog about Going Solo – life in the point of view of a young single mom. I am now adding a new Category, which is “Going Solo”.
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This post was inspired by Teacher Julie’s Weekly Question. Try it, it’s fun!
September 4, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Thank you for answering this WQ
yes, being moms doesn’t mean we lose sight of what we were before we had a child (children in my case). The children should also see as different persons, not just as mother figures. I am just glad that my children can see me “in action” as I work with the children I teach and they know that that is me, a teacher.
Going out with friends doesn’t mean parents are bad, its just that sometimes we need to have time for ourselves too, di ba?
Way to go Liza, for creating a new category in your blog
Thanks and best regards.
September 4, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Yup, that’s why I’m glad that Lex and I have a new bonding activity – Taekwondo. He enjoys observing and imitating the moves. I heard in a motivational cd, “if you want your children to do something great with their lives, YOU do something great with YOUR life”.