Nightmares
Last Saturday, I was having lunch with my favorite panda, and he asked me whether I experienced waking up in the middle of the night and felt that I couldn’t move my body. I told him yes, it happened to me a lot of times. Then we started comparing experiences about having nightmares and waking up feeling like there’s an invisible body pinning me down, and the only way for me to really wake up is to move my big toe. The odd thing is, I am aware in my mind that I am having a nightmare, and that I should move my big toe. There were times that I would be having nightmares and in my dream, I would start to pray, but I couldn’t! Like my tongue is tied and it’s hard to say “Jesus”. But when I am able to say the Lord’s name, I would suddenly wake up ann no one is pinning me down.
Yes, prayer works against nightmares, at least for me.
Several times in the past months, my Mama would wake me up and tell me I’ve been talking in my sleep. I wonder whether the people who die in their sleep were having nightmares and died because no one would wake them up?
Then my friend shared his experience when he was little, he called out for his daddy when he woke up from a bad dream, and he remembers vividly that he woke up in the morning with his dad beside him.
Anyway, the conversation about nightmares reminded me of the nice song I blogged about and how comforting it is to have someone “save” you from your nightmares. How I wish I could just be like that little child all the time and have someone with me all the time, so I could sleep peacefully without fear.
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Two nights ago, I dreamed of my grandparents and the grandmother who used to be my roommate. It was a weird dream (as usual), where Mama and I were in the room, and someone knocked on the door. When I opened, standing there were my grandparents. They came in one by one and sort of “crossed over” on the wall. It was so weird. I do not remember seeing my Mama’s parents, I just knew it was them. But I did see vividly, my Papa’s dad, Lolo Juan. He was younger and his face was peaceful and happy. Then I started to cry, I apologized for not visiting before he died, and he just held my face in his hands and smiled. Then he “crossed over”.
Then we walked out the bedroom, and we saw Lola sleeping on her rocking chair. Then I woke her up and told her that she needs to “cross over”. So she walked to the room, then before crossing over, she kissed me on the cheeks, hugged me and told me to be good. Then she was gone. With that, my dream shifted to a family reunion setting on the beach.
Anyway, with the weirdness of it all, I am reminded to pray for my grandparents. I’m just glad they were not mad at me. 
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As soon as I wake up after dreaming, I thank God for opening my eyes to face another day. Alive.