Worth it

“You are worthy…”
For a long time I couldn’t grasp what that phrase meant. I knew that I was loved by the people who mattered to me – family, close friends.. but I guess there came a time that I gave up on finding a lifetime partner because simply, I wasn’t worth loving for a lifetime.
I was actually imagining to be dating at age 50 just like those movie stars do. Hahaha. Assuming I have the looks and the money.

So meeting my now-husband wasn’t expected, but at the back of my mind, I have always hoped for it. At that time, I was obsessed with reading romance novels, typically the shorter ones with an average of 300 pages. Most of the leading men in the novels are dominant, almost cave-man like, possessive and passionate. Of course they were loyal, loving and they lived for their woman. Then there is always that conflict – they vary but in the end the message is always — I choose you and no one else. If I have to go through it all over again, I would, because you are worth it.

I never thought that I was already attracting MY leading man. But only a few days into the relationship, he was already talking about marriage, about proposing to me, which I evaded and tried to look for faults in. I mean who in their right mind would propose to a new girlfriend? The only thing that prevented him from proposing earlier was his financial status at that time, since he was transitioning to a new job after getting off the grid due to a personal crisis of losing his son to cancer. (That is another story, which is not mine to tell)

So yes, I dated a guy who was almost broke at that time. But I knew he was working hard and that he found a new reason to do so (yes it was me hehe haba ng hair). I am so glad to have been part of that transition in his life, and now that I look back on it, I knew I stayed because he was worth it. He still is and always will be! (and he is no longer almost broke 🙂 )

Which leads me to the realization – and he never failed to say it especially when he was convincing me to marry him — that I was worth it, and this was my time to be happy, like my friends and family who have found their happiness ( and who I envied all the time).
Yes now I accept that fact – I am worthy. And so are you.